Psychosexual Issues

What is it?

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Erectile dysfunction (ED) is the inability to maintain an erection firm enough for satisfying sexual activity.  This inevitably means different things to different men.  For example, some men may be able to have an erection that is firm enough to engage in some sexual activities but may struggle when it comes to vaginal or anal penetration, whilst other men may not be able to obtain any erection at all or lose it completely during sex. ED can leave men feeling embarrassed and stressed.   ED can have the potential to undermine sexual performance and confidence, which can understandably result in a great deal of distress for men encountering this problem, as well as their partners.

How common is it?

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It is very common for men to have trouble getting or keeping an erection at some point in their lives.  This is usually in the context of experiencing excessive stress, feeling tired, or having had too much alcohol.  Although these episodes of difficulty with erection can leave men feeling anxious, they usually are not anything to worry about.  ED, on the other hand, describes when this problem persists.  It can affect men of all ages, although becomes more common the older men get.  A study reported that ED affects around a third of men at some point in their lives.

What is it?‍

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The primary terms used for female pain and penetration problems are vulvodynia, dyspareunia and vaginismus. Vulvodynia is persistent, unexplained pain in the vulva. The vulva is the female external genital area including the skin surrounding the opening of the vagina. Dyspareunia describes pain during penetrative sex. Vaginismus is an involuntary spasm of the pelvic floor muscles resulting in the closing of the vagina, making penetration exceptionally difficult or impossible. These problems can be caused by both physical and psychological factors and it is therefore important to be assessed by a GP or sexual health doctor in conjunction with a psychological assessment.

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How common is it?‍

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Painful sex is an extremely common issue for women and can impact on their wellbeing and relationship. It is estimated that as many as 75% of women will experience pain during sex at some point. For many women, the pain is rare or happens only once, but for others it's persistent. It is estimated that 1%-6% of women will have a diagnosis of vaginismus, although many doctors think that is much more common and is likely to be underdiagnosed because many women are unwilling to discuss their symptoms with their GP.

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What is it?

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Sex that is considered to be different from the 'mainstream' is not problematic, providing that it is consensual and lawful. However, for some people that have sexual preferences that are not mainstream, this can generate psychological distress such as guilt and shame. Here at Finding Sense, we are 'Kink-aware' and sex positive, meaning that we have a high level of awareness around kink, BDSM and paraphilias. People come to therapy with a wide range of issues relating to kink, BDSM and paraphilias. It may be because they want to discuss their desires with their partner for the first time, work with issues of acceptance and reduce shame around their sexuality, or feel they want to change the role kink plays in their life.

How common is it? 

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The prevalence of fetishes, kinks and paraphilias is extremely difficult to ascertain, as the criteria that determines them varies widely, both across cultures and over time. However, research has shown that they occur more frequently in men and that the intensity typically decreases with age.

What is it?

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We prefer the term compulsive sexual behaviour over the use of the controversial term 'sex addiction'. Compulsive sexual behaviours can vary dramatically from one person to another but it characterised by the person feeling they have little to no control over their sexual behaviour and feel distressed by these behaviours. Sometimes the distress is a consequence of the person pathologising their high sex drive or non maintstream sexual preferences. As such, we take a sex positive approach to support you to understand these behaviours in a compassionate way and develop strategies to feel more in control.

How common is it? 

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There is no reliable estimate as to how common compulsive sexual behaviour is. This is because 'sex addiction' isn't currently recognised as a psychological disorder. Part of this is because sex itself is normal, healthy human behaviour like eating and sleeping. Secondly, due to the intense shame that is often experienced as a result of compulsive sexual behaviours makes it difficult for people to speak up and seek help. However, some researchers have estimated that between 3-5% of the adult population have some form of compulsive sexual behaviour.

What is it?

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The main terms used to describe ejaculatory issues are premature ejaculation and delayed ejaculation. Premature ejaculation (PE) is defined as ejacuation that occurs in less than one minute following penetration. Delayed ejaculation (DE) is the term used to describe a situation where it takes a prolonged period of time for a person to ejaculate during sex or where ejaculation is not possible at all. Ejaculatory issues can be a frustrating experience for both the person and their partner(s) and can make sex less enjoyable. Like all sexual problems, PE and DE can be caused by physical and psychological factors. It is therefore important to have a physical examination from a doctor in conjunction with a psychological assessment.

How common is it? 

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Ejaculatory issues are very common in men. It is estimated that as many as 1 in 3 men will experience premature ejaculation at some point in their life. It is most common in younger men and those who have high levels of anxiety. Delayed ejacualtion is less common and is estimated to affect around 4% of men.

What is it?‍

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Sexual and gender identities vary enormously and at Finding Sense all these identities are respected and we strive to create a safe, non-judgemental therapeutic environment to explore any conflicts or concerns people may have with their identities. We are proud to follow the requirements of the Memorandum of Understanding on Conversion Therapy V2 (MoU2) when working with clients presenting with concerns related to their sexual and/or gender identities.

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How common is it?‍

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Sexual and gender identities vary enormously and at Finding Sense all these identities are respected and we strive to create a safe, non-judgemental therapeutic environment to explore any conflicts or concerns people may have with their identities. We are proud to follow the requirements of the Memorandum of Understanding on Conversion Therapy V2 (MoU2) when working with clients presenting with concerns related to their sexual and/or gender identities.

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What is it?

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People of all ages, genders, relationship status and sexual orientations can experience varying levels of desire for sexual activity. Some people may never experience sexual desire and identify as asexual. For some people, they may be in a relationship where their sexual desire is mismatched with that of their partner(s). Sexual desire is very subjective and what is considered low for one person may be experienced as quite high for someone else. Low sexual desire may be a consequence of another sexual difficulty, such as ED or painful sex. It is therefore important to identify the root cause to help guide appropriate treatment.

How common is it? 

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Low sexual desire is very common with some studies suggesting that as many as a third of people are concerned by their lack of sexual desire. However, it is important to note that often people overestimate the quantity of sex that others are having and this may result in people being concerned they have a low sex drive when in fact their sexual desire is similar to most other people.